Seeking enlightenment and other tales of misunderstanding
Well, it's been a few weeks overdue but finally decided to bite the bullet and try writing about my recent experience meditating for 10 days just south of Merrit BC (the province, not time wise).
Probably my biggest hesitation in trying to explain or share my experience (aside from the extremely personal subject matter) is the chance of misunderstanding, since it is hard to describe fully without coloring with ones own interpretations that might not translate well if there isn't a common ground of understanding... my god that sounded pretentious. Alright screw it, I'll just try my best to explain and if some people believe I've joined a flying spaghetti monster cult then so be it.
I guess it all started with my own self created doubts and problems, I tend to fall into patterns of self destruction every so often - nothing flashy just a spiraling decay of apathy and self hatred. What I would eventually realize is how universal the experience of it was, but that's for later, my usual methods of coping would be escapism. Pretty much a fancy way of saying running from problems by ignoring them or closing myself off so completely as to shut down, oddly enough I could still function if absolutely required but was unable to connect with people beyond a formal politeness. Though for a while lived pretty much like a hikkomori or shut in, still recovering from the effects of that socially and economically. So long story short, I was a bit messed and needed help in some form, and there is quite a lot of help out there, the best kind being trust worthy friends and family, or else religion, head shrinker's (can't spell psychiatrists), relying on addictions (see this), support groups, crisis help lines... you get the idea. None of the above really seemed like an option for me, mainly because I was incapable of placing enough trust in anyone/anything to share my problems to an extent to be helped.
So decided to try a 10 day meditation course, the appeal being that one has to work out their own problems - no need to rely on anyone. The cost of the course was donation based, so the hardest part was getting leave from work, had to take a course at a later date than I wanted but eventually got the required leave.
Arrival: Day 0
Drove from Calgary to Merrit on June 20th in just under 8 hours, the drive itself was restful passing by mountains and rivers. Nothing too eventful yet just beautiful scenery, arrived at the Meditation Centre just after 2pm, registered and got a room assignment as well as a roomate. The building itself was a relatively new, there were four sides with a courtyard in the middle, two opposite sides held the men's and women's residences, while the two remaining ones contained the group meditation hall and dining area. Registration was relatively straight forward, filling out name brief history, meditation experience etc, then it was free time until about 6 when a light dinner was served and the rules of the centre were explained.
Firstly men and women were to be complete segregated, to reduce distractions the dining hall had a curtain divider and each side had their own walking paths, only the meditation seated both men and women though each had a respective side. Then the five precepts we would have to follow were outlined: To abstain from killing any being, to abstain from stealing, to abstain from sexual misconduct, to abstain from wrong speech, to abstain from all intoxicants (pretty easy really). Also starting at 8pm and for the duration of the course everyone had to take a vow of 'noble silence' meaning no communicating to other meditaters verbally or non-verbally, as well no writing, exercising, practicing of rites, reading, phones etc. Our entire focus should be on the meditation techniques taught, they emphasized that it was to give the technique a fair trial and so for the next 10 days live a monk's life (I thought, for someone who lived as a shut in this would be a peace of cake). We could discuss problems with meditation with the teacher or physical needs with the course manager if necessary, but otherwise it should be a rather quiet experience. As well all meals would be vegetarian, no meats or eggs, though milk and cheese was okay.
I chatted with a few people then started the Noble silence at 8pm, took a walk around the wooded paths (quite nice actually) then returned to the building to see a notice in the foyer outlining the schedule for the rest of the course:
That took quite a while to write and that's just day 0, so I'll stop for now and update with the remaining 10 days later, I guess I should mention the course itself. The course is run by the Vipassana meditation centre of BC, or Dhamma Surabi (no not Dharma -that's strictly LOST) honestly the site won't be able to provide too many answers regarding the course since it is something one has to experience to understand - and since everyone's experience is different... well you know. Though for what it's worth, I think everyone should consider taking the 10 day course, one just has to be a the right point in their lives to get the full benefit from it. Well, anyway must take nappings of power so take care and more meditatey goodness will follow - stay tuned.
Probably my biggest hesitation in trying to explain or share my experience (aside from the extremely personal subject matter) is the chance of misunderstanding, since it is hard to describe fully without coloring with ones own interpretations that might not translate well if there isn't a common ground of understanding... my god that sounded pretentious. Alright screw it, I'll just try my best to explain and if some people believe I've joined a flying spaghetti monster cult then so be it.
I guess it all started with my own self created doubts and problems, I tend to fall into patterns of self destruction every so often - nothing flashy just a spiraling decay of apathy and self hatred. What I would eventually realize is how universal the experience of it was, but that's for later, my usual methods of coping would be escapism. Pretty much a fancy way of saying running from problems by ignoring them or closing myself off so completely as to shut down, oddly enough I could still function if absolutely required but was unable to connect with people beyond a formal politeness. Though for a while lived pretty much like a hikkomori or shut in, still recovering from the effects of that socially and economically. So long story short, I was a bit messed and needed help in some form, and there is quite a lot of help out there, the best kind being trust worthy friends and family, or else religion, head shrinker's (can't spell psychiatrists), relying on addictions (see this), support groups, crisis help lines... you get the idea. None of the above really seemed like an option for me, mainly because I was incapable of placing enough trust in anyone/anything to share my problems to an extent to be helped.
So decided to try a 10 day meditation course, the appeal being that one has to work out their own problems - no need to rely on anyone. The cost of the course was donation based, so the hardest part was getting leave from work, had to take a course at a later date than I wanted but eventually got the required leave.
Arrival: Day 0
Drove from Calgary to Merrit on June 20th in just under 8 hours, the drive itself was restful passing by mountains and rivers. Nothing too eventful yet just beautiful scenery, arrived at the Meditation Centre just after 2pm, registered and got a room assignment as well as a roomate. The building itself was a relatively new, there were four sides with a courtyard in the middle, two opposite sides held the men's and women's residences, while the two remaining ones contained the group meditation hall and dining area. Registration was relatively straight forward, filling out name brief history, meditation experience etc, then it was free time until about 6 when a light dinner was served and the rules of the centre were explained.
Firstly men and women were to be complete segregated, to reduce distractions the dining hall had a curtain divider and each side had their own walking paths, only the meditation seated both men and women though each had a respective side. Then the five precepts we would have to follow were outlined: To abstain from killing any being, to abstain from stealing, to abstain from sexual misconduct, to abstain from wrong speech, to abstain from all intoxicants (pretty easy really). Also starting at 8pm and for the duration of the course everyone had to take a vow of 'noble silence' meaning no communicating to other meditaters verbally or non-verbally, as well no writing, exercising, practicing of rites, reading, phones etc. Our entire focus should be on the meditation techniques taught, they emphasized that it was to give the technique a fair trial and so for the next 10 days live a monk's life (I thought, for someone who lived as a shut in this would be a peace of cake). We could discuss problems with meditation with the teacher or physical needs with the course manager if necessary, but otherwise it should be a rather quiet experience. As well all meals would be vegetarian, no meats or eggs, though milk and cheese was okay.
I chatted with a few people then started the Noble silence at 8pm, took a walk around the wooded paths (quite nice actually) then returned to the building to see a notice in the foyer outlining the schedule for the rest of the course:
- 4:30 am: Morning gong
- 4:30- 6:30 am Meditation in hall or your own room
- 6:30 am Breakfast served
- 7:15 - 8:00 am Free time
- 8:00 - 9:00 am Group meditation in Hall
- 9:00 - 11:00 am Meditation in hall or your own room as instructor dictates
- 11:00 am Lunch
- 12:00 - 12:30 pm Interviews with instructor by request in hall
- 12:30 - 1:00 pm Free time
- 1:00 pm - 2:30 pm Meditation in Hall or your own room
- 2:30 pm - 3:30 pm Group meditation in Hall
- 3:30 - 5:00 pm Meditation in Hall or your own room as instructor dictates
- 5:00 pm tea break
- 6:00 pm - 7:00 pm Group meditation in Hall
- 7:00 - 8:15 pm Discourse in Hall
- 8:15 - 9:00 pm Meditation in Hall
- 9:00 - 9:30 pm Open question period in Hall or free time
- 10:00 pm Lights out
That took quite a while to write and that's just day 0, so I'll stop for now and update with the remaining 10 days later, I guess I should mention the course itself. The course is run by the Vipassana meditation centre of BC, or Dhamma Surabi (no not Dharma -that's strictly LOST) honestly the site won't be able to provide too many answers regarding the course since it is something one has to experience to understand - and since everyone's experience is different... well you know. Though for what it's worth, I think everyone should consider taking the 10 day course, one just has to be a the right point in their lives to get the full benefit from it. Well, anyway must take nappings of power so take care and more meditatey goodness will follow - stay tuned.
