Well the above picture is more for the sake of humour than any meaningful representation about what I'm going to blog about today... at least I couldn't thing of a way to do it with extreme leaps of logic.
Anyway I guess a lot of things are happening in life again... it always seems that the universe conspires to lull one into a false sense of security and then hit you with the biggest sh... storm you ever had the imagination to think of, turn into a Hollywood script and have the resulting movie lead played by Helen Hunt (she was a famous actress... so I've been told).
Hmm, that might be a bit inaccurate, I think the way I see things in my life right now is like a large intersection... right now, it's pretty empty and quiet, maybe a few cars go by. In the distance it seems a couple of trains are coming, there also appears to be a few buses and trucks loaded with flammables heading down the road.
So I really should start planning how to switch the tracks for the trains and which bus to stop before they all collide together in a beautiful fubar fireball... or get a stick and some marshmallows and wait a bit.
Hmm, I guess what I'm trying to get at in a round about way is I have a lot of decisions to make, and no matter what I choose some people aren't going to be happy. Oh well, that's life I guess...
Another thing that has been weighing heavily on my mind is how seriously I take myself... quite often I make effort to downplay my abilities or appear foolish as a way of lowering expectations. Though I think people just begin to assume I'm a little nuts which works out just as well - since I really don't like getting involved too deeply in things, too troublesome.
I've started changing a bit, maybe it's just waking and thinking I guess I'll do what is necessary today, or maybe just thinking it would be nice to rage against the dying of the light.
Meh, whatever... either way as long as it stays interesting it's something to look forward too. I've also decided I really should make more of an effort to keep in contact with people. Someone passes away and you're left thinking 'I really wish I knew them' because honestly if you don't then it's hard to know how to feel. For all that I try to understand the world and how people act it is quite sobering to find out that one doesn't really know much about the people who should be closest.
So have a lot of stuff to work on inside and out so to speak... it's funny, I've stopped wishing for life to be simpler or easier... in fact, I think at this point I really do want something to rage against, to fight with all my strength even if failure is a foregone conclusion. What's that ol sports saying... "it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game".
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