Not Normal



I've always had an aversion to normalacy... perhaps that is not the right phrase. I've always taken refuge in the label of being abnormal, different than the usual. Perhaps it is growing up considering myself (narcsisstically) unusual or not quite the same as people around me, in part that is true though one has to recognize that everyone is slightly different than the other.
I don't think of myself as unique or special just something that doesn't seem to productively fit in the mechanisms of the world that comprise what we call society.
I am able to understand or connect to different people and expereince... but never feel a part of them, or it does not quite resonate as what I see myself as - only parts. I keep having this feeling that I have all these functions but no direction, like an all purpose tool that may get many tasks done if used but is not really vital for any specific job.

I think what annoys me the most is that people like definitions or labels to identify what they are - in both positive and negative ways. Take religion for example (ah what a lovely can of worms), now I've come to a bit of an odd view that all religions are equally valid with both good and not-so good facets. They are all different ways of interpreting the world and they are all trying to get people to live in a moral and beneficial way to society or more specifically the ideals of the immediate community. Given the opportunity I enjoy learning more about religious beliefs, the only time I stop is when someone has the gall to say that there is only one path and all others are false.
Hmm, I'll stop before I dig too deep a hole for myself, anyway getting back to my original point is that people will often ask what my religion is and I have a hard time answering them. If I say I don't really belong to a religion they assume I'm an atheist - which isn't accurate. Conversely saying that I'm a student of any religion that promotes good qualities leads to puzzling looks and odd questions.
So to avoid the matter entirely I just say I was raised Roman Catholic and that seems to satisfy most people.
Still I dislike being forced into such a narrow viewpoint, not that I have anything against Catholicism of course.

Hmm, perhaps I'll call it a day as I have no idea how to finish this post without digging a deeper hole for myself :)