Not Normal



I've always had an aversion to normalacy... perhaps that is not the right phrase. I've always taken refuge in the label of being abnormal, different than the usual. Perhaps it is growing up considering myself (narcsisstically) unusual or not quite the same as people around me, in part that is true though one has to recognize that everyone is slightly different than the other.
I don't think of myself as unique or special just something that doesn't seem to productively fit in the mechanisms of the world that comprise what we call society.
I am able to understand or connect to different people and expereince... but never feel a part of them, or it does not quite resonate as what I see myself as - only parts. I keep having this feeling that I have all these functions but no direction, like an all purpose tool that may get many tasks done if used but is not really vital for any specific job.

I think what annoys me the most is that people like definitions or labels to identify what they are - in both positive and negative ways. Take religion for example (ah what a lovely can of worms), now I've come to a bit of an odd view that all religions are equally valid with both good and not-so good facets. They are all different ways of interpreting the world and they are all trying to get people to live in a moral and beneficial way to society or more specifically the ideals of the immediate community. Given the opportunity I enjoy learning more about religious beliefs, the only time I stop is when someone has the gall to say that there is only one path and all others are false.
Hmm, I'll stop before I dig too deep a hole for myself, anyway getting back to my original point is that people will often ask what my religion is and I have a hard time answering them. If I say I don't really belong to a religion they assume I'm an atheist - which isn't accurate. Conversely saying that I'm a student of any religion that promotes good qualities leads to puzzling looks and odd questions.
So to avoid the matter entirely I just say I was raised Roman Catholic and that seems to satisfy most people.
Still I dislike being forced into such a narrow viewpoint, not that I have anything against Catholicism of course.

Hmm, perhaps I'll call it a day as I have no idea how to finish this post without digging a deeper hole for myself :)

There really is something wrong when...

For the longest time I've been a fan of the Daily show, for those who don't know it is a comedy show that takes a funny take on politics and news in the US. Though up in Canada we've had Air Farce and This hour has 22 minutes were comedy gold well before Jon Stewart, but anyway...
I became a fan of the show mainly because it ... is darn funny, with excellent writing and comedy at it's finest... though at times also just plain silly as well.

However starting with this CNN crossfire interview I really started to question how people saw the show worldwide and in the USA in particular. In the interview Stewart himself said that there is something wrong when news networks look to a comedy show for journalistic integrity. Some pollsters have shown that more and more people are tuning into the Daily show for news than the news stations themselves or seem to trust the information they get from Stewart more than the 'respected' news anchors.

More recently there has been a big brouhaha over a piece DS did about CNBC and their seeming complicity in the current financial crisis. I'll admit it was interesting though as per usual it wasn't really anything I didn't know before... it was just packaged nicely and present in a way I could laugh at instead of banging my head against a wall.
However it really has struck a cord within the media itself and people are taking it more seriously than I thought possible... which I find really disturbing.
Now first one should really should Watch this , seriously. It was partially disturbing to see the show being about the full complacency of media with the economic crisis... but that Jon Stewart was actually doing a serious interview... I kept waiting for a punch line in the middle but it was a serious interview without the combative argumentative bullshit that passes for debate.
Why... why does one have to look to a comedy show for a serious look at what is happening in the world?
The answer is actually a damning statement against the current mainstream media. The responsibility of illuminating truth has turned into more of an exercise in earning advertising revenue and not upsetting the powers that be (who often happen to pay for 'adversing'). As other bloggers and commentors on the whole scenario have stated it does seem that these major news networks and sources who claim to have respectablility and access ... really don't use it effectively and are more afraid of giving offence than publishing what boils down to propoganda.

I wish I could write a bit more but time for work, and again to avoid the draft will just publish this entry as is. One last word about the media though... for all the stupity I see coming from major news and media outlets, it really is only a reflection of the regular person, people don't want the truth or justice... for the most part they just want to be entertained.

Adventures in shaving,

Well this might be an odd topic but felt it would be nice to try writing about. I'm sure most people can relate to shaving at least some part of their body for 'whatever' reason at one time or another, being a guy who could grow a full beard at the age of 14 it is something I've become quite used too.

Eventually I also started shaving my head as well, or to quote a colourful character "God shaved part of my head, I just decided to finish the job". In any event this means that whether I like it or not shaving is nearly a daily chore though keeping a beard allows me to slack off every other day or so (longer if I want a mean grunge look). What this all leads up to is the choice of shaving utensil, a razor, electric razor or some latest 5 blade power EXXXTREME razor than dispenses magical healing liquid and smells like mint - oh and also vibrates.

Anyway for the longest time I've settled on the Mach 3 razor which is quite comfortable though the cost of the replacement blades are a bit pricey. I've tried electric razors and they really are uncomfortable no matter how 'hi-tech' they become - plus they never seem to do quite the job that blades are able to. So while I use Mach 3 what I really want to use are good ol'fashion straight razors, of course would probably end up like Scarface but with a little practice it would be a nifty skill to pick up. Unfortunately finding these razors is not an easy task, plus one needs an assortment of equipment to maintain it: strop, brush, mug and a few other terms I forget.

Well since I was down to my last replacement Mach 3 blade decided to pick up a new razor and on impulse got the tried and true single blade razor with those iconic honest to goodness razor blades (the friends of emos since... whenever that fad become popular). I would have liked a straight razor but as I said it was on impulse and they don't seem to carry straight razors at the local stores.

The first time using the archetype of safety razors proved ... interesting. It was a little nerve racking to use an untested blade on ones throat but it was surprisingly clean to shave with. I actually completed most of my morning ritual with a couple of minor nicks (well within acceptable tolerances) until I reached the back of my head.
Now I am fairly used to head shaving so I don't use a mirror unless defining my beard (it is a sweet beard) so just went about as normal feeling for rough areas when a pass of the razor seemd to burn just a little.
I didn't think anything of it until I felt an a wet area on back of my head... yeah.
I actually managed to take a picture of my bleeding skull but fortunately for you it has been lost on my computer amoung countless pictures of random objects and various politicians (they're just so sexy).

Though now have got used to the blade and actually enjoy using it more than the Mach 3... I think there is something about the ritual of shaving that makes me appreciate the older shaving methods than the gosh darn fancy technological stuff. Maybe it is the concentration that is needed to safely use a very sharp blade or a Zen-like trance one goes into when shaving but while I wouldn't say shaving is an enjoyable experience it is one of those multitude of little rituals one has to do throughout the day that is actually not altogether unpleasant. Though I think being able to use a straight razor would be totally bad ass, it's almost like telling someone you use a gun to plant seeds... hmm, maybe not quite that stupid but I think you get the idea.

Fascination with Fail...


Well the above picture is more for the sake of humour than any meaningful representation about what I'm going to blog about today... at least I couldn't thing of a way to do it with extreme leaps of logic.
Anyway I guess a lot of things are happening in life again... it always seems that the universe conspires to lull one into a false sense of security and then hit you with the biggest sh... storm you ever had the imagination to think of, turn into a Hollywood script and have the resulting movie lead played by Helen Hunt (she was a famous actress... so I've been told).
Hmm, that might be a bit inaccurate, I think the way I see things in my life right now is like a large intersection... right now, it's pretty empty and quiet, maybe a few cars go by. In the distance it seems a couple of trains are coming, there also appears to be a few buses and trucks loaded with flammables heading down the road.
So I really should start planning how to switch the tracks for the trains and which bus to stop before they all collide together in a beautiful fubar fireball... or get a stick and some marshmallows and wait a bit.

Hmm, I guess what I'm trying to get at in a round about way is I have a lot of decisions to make, and no matter what I choose some people aren't going to be happy. Oh well, that's life I guess...

Another thing that has been weighing heavily on my mind is how seriously I take myself... quite often I make effort to downplay my abilities or appear foolish as a way of lowering expectations. Though I think people just begin to assume I'm a little nuts which works out just as well - since I really don't like getting involved too deeply in things, too troublesome.
I've started changing a bit, maybe it's just waking and thinking I guess I'll do what is necessary today, or maybe just thinking it would be nice to rage against the dying of the light.

Meh, whatever... either way as long as it stays interesting it's something to look forward too. I've also decided I really should make more of an effort to keep in contact with people. Someone passes away and you're left thinking 'I really wish I knew them' because honestly if you don't then it's hard to know how to feel. For all that I try to understand the world and how people act it is quite sobering to find out that one doesn't really know much about the people who should be closest.

So have a lot of stuff to work on inside and out so to speak... it's funny, I've stopped wishing for life to be simpler or easier... in fact, I think at this point I really do want something to rage against, to fight with all my strength even if failure is a foregone conclusion. What's that ol sports saying... "it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game".

I've been thinking a lot recently... hmm, perhaps a better way to say is I've been thinking more than I usually do. Most of the time it isn't productive, just the usual mix of introspective and 'nature of the universe' stuff, but even that gets tiring so switched it up with some more analytical thought on things around me, people, environment, politics, censorship, accuracy of information etc.

Oddly enough I've never tried sharing about 95% of what I think mainly because I believe that I don't have enough information to make a conclusion, to do otherwise is just pure speculation.

However I've realized that most people really have no clue either... there really isn't any way to be completely sure about anything. Though it breaks down into two categories, the first knows their information is incomplete but makes decisions based on them leaving room for change if anything new is brought to light. The second takes what little information they get and then staunchly defend it without even considering that it could be wrong - to the point that they will fight against any contradicting information.

It surprises me how many people fall into the second category, or more accurately how many people fall into the second category only for certain subjects. This may be opening a can of worms but let's look at Religion and Politics. People may question a lot of things, but if it is put forward through a religious or political light then they will eagerly accept and defend it.

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I was going to continue with the previous thought but realized it would be more than I really want to get into. Actually it's just that it would take more time than I have to write the full scope of what I wanted so instead of saving as a draft (a mark of death for my blog posts) figured I'd shift gears with the smoothness of an elephant performing Swan Lake and talk about something completely different - organization!

Organization is a fancy way of saying... hmm, I'm not sure, where is my dictionary... damn, can't find it, I really should be more organized. Anyway it is something that is really really hard to do. That's it... oh and "I like turtles"

So that's what it is all about...







Every now and then one tends to get a little frayed at the edges, overwhelmed by the petty idiocies of the world in general (or specific agitators as well), but then something comes along that reminds one that sometimes that isn't really important.

If it is one thing about our world and the internet I would praise is that it allows the creation of videos like the one above.

So I could write pages... but sometimes less is more, watch the video and enjoy and feel a bit better.

Well I am going to try and write about what may be for once instead of just commenting on past ones. I have a long list of topics on which I had opinions but a lack of time… or more honestly laziness never saw the posts in a form worth publishing even on the Internet.

So today I am going to write about the near future, actually literally tomorrow. February Fourth is Independence day in Sri Lanka, the are parades planned and exhibits at the main hall called the BMICH (it stands for something but the words were really hard to pronounce let alone spell). In any event there is a great amount of relief and hope for this year’s celebrations, as for the first time in 25 years it looks like the menace of the LTTE is over. A civil war that has seen countless lives and the destruction of Sri Lanka’s economy and probably most importantly national pride.

It is always interesting how one can see the past where once Sri Lanka was considered the jewel of the Indian ocean, rich in natural resources and culture the Isle was the envy of many Nations. Unfortunately that also meant it was a target for powers eager to exploit what ever the country had to offer.

Wait wait… I’m supposed to be talking about the present and the future… so anyway, people are hopeful and are actually considering a future of peace on this Island. National pride is at a level that probably hasn’t been seen in decades, but that also is a cause for concern.

It the simplest terms one must always have pride in themselves and that amounts to saying ‘I am great, and can do anything’ though there comes a point when that pride goes beyond confidence in oneself but a way of looking down on others ‘I am better than you.’

For a long time people in Sri Lanka had little confidence in their Country and held no pride in being born on this Island, and unfortunately that was also displayed internationally. One of the few things that brought Sri Lankans together was Cricket, and winning the world cup was probably the only bright spot in the last decade.

So now with people daring to again take pride in their culture I would like to think that they could avoid mistakes of the past, and be able to feel confident in who they are without developing a superiority complex.

With that said tomorrow’s Independence Day celebrations should be interesting. Since it is going to be the focus of rebuilding some National pride it is a prime target of the LTTE terrorists.

I’ve already noticed the increased security over the past couple of days and hopefully it can prevent any attempts at destruction.

It is a bit weird being a part of a newspaper though, one almost hopes for catastrophe so that there is more news to print and comment on. Though personally I think it is highly likely that the LTTE will be able to pull off something, simply because they are incredibly desperate and have been driven to a point where recovery is next to impossible.

It is of such concern that I’m even just a little worried about travelling to my cousin’s place for his birthday (being born on Independence is a mixed blessing I guess). Not for a possibility of being exploded but the resulting traffic jam that would mean being stuck hours in traffic while the sun rained down deadly waves of heat.

Actually that brings up something I’ve been considering, I now believe that the LTTE lost this conflict long before the current military campaign started against them two years ago.

I think that once the fear of suicide bombers stopped keeping people from going about their daily lives – the terrorists lost. Terrorism itself depends on fear, a bankrupt tactic that doesn’t exactly have a history of working out too well. The attitude of most people is a simple resignation to the dangers society presents at the moment whether it be from the LTTE or the Government.

Well, what I really want to express is that I see the possibility for greatness right now, there is so much potential for Sri Lanka and all the peoples regardless of caste or creed.

As a personal aside I’ve had to counter a lot of misinformation about the discrimination accusations fielded against Sri Lanka, mainly encouraged as a method of justifying the LTTE’s existence. Personally Sri Lanka seems much more tolerant than other countries, for example I know Canadians believe that they have the most tolerant society… but would you ever see a school in Canada that has a praying area with a miniaturized Mosque, Kovil, Pagoda and Church side by side? There is a lot more tolerance and acceptance in Sri Lanka than I have seen elsewhere, though I will admit Canadians are definitely more polite. This is not saying Sri Lanka is perfect – far from it! No country can claim moral high ground when it comes to similar issues.

I’m getting a bit vague and the aside is quickly turning into another post, so I’ll just say that no one is perfect, but with a little effort and confidence truly amazing things are possible. The sad part the road to disaster is much easier.