Sigh, another day er I mean night of work ended. I increasingly find myself irritated at the various customers and now after some thought I realize its just anger at myself for being in that job. As a bit of background I've always been pretty smart yet have never really applied myself to get anywhere. Now that fact is starting to catch up to me as I look around and find myself stuck somewhere that is as increadible useless to soceity as an SUV. My personal dream would be to in a position that allowed me bring out the best of people instead of dealing with the lower dredges - of course I realize how stupid that is.. truly to be a great person is to acknowledge the best of even the most ill mannered crack-head but like a lot of people I lack the energy to try. Often one tends to think mostly of how they are inconvienced by the stupidity of others rather than look for the humanity that resides in most people. Sometimes for brief moments I look at people and wonder what their 'story' is... who are they really?
You try to ask people who they are and of course they are defined by their name and occupation in life... but that isn't who they are. Personally I think what makes a person is what they feel, what brings them joy or pain. Its kind of difficult to even think about the nature of oneself, to ask the question 'who am I', has plagued many people and will continue for eternity.. whether there is any real answer or if we just need to realize that the question might be an answer in itself doesn't help anyone.
Bah, the fact I actually have time to think of this stuff is a terrible sign of my own stupidity. If I had any brains I would be working hard to make myself into a better person mentally and physically but its soooo much easier to sit by a computer and waste away the minutes... days... years of ones life. Damn that sucks.