'One of the greatest movies ever... '

Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle will always be one of my favourite movies, not for outstanding writing, comedy or plot... mainly it was the first movie I saw where the east indian guy wasn't speaking with an accent as well was just played as a normal/stoner guy who happened to have brown skin.
So when I saw the preview for this, well I was nearly extatic with joy... or just really wanted to see a funny movie for once. Oh and this site is just classic, I'm not sure how they originally came up for the idea of NPH as a character but, wow, it works on so many levels (no I am not high at the moment).
Okay truthfully, the movie is retarded but it's non-thinking entertainment, no hidden subtext or interpetation, no tear jerker moments (I think) and just a lot of random humor from the lower end of the spectrum. What more can you ask for, so I'll going to try see it as soon as I can but in the mean time ... What would NPH do?

Later

"Wish it was a dog's life"

I've been having a wierd few days, something feels off... ah well. Anyway have been tempted to reactivate my Facebook account, mostly because my birthday is coming up - yeah, birthday wishes no matter how shallow are always nice to recieve. Actually don't think I'll really do much this year, can't really say I feel like there is much to celebrate. Bah, no point in dwelling on anything, soooooo... hmm, not much else going on, trying to figure out how much a round the world trip would be (flights alone is around $3000), what I'm going to do in the summer when my contract runs out, how on earth to keep to a proper diet and excercise routine, finish accounting courses, trying to get website up finally, get car repaired, learn guitar, eat more vegetables and find out how LOST ends. So I guess there is a lot of stuff to do, just really don't feel up to doing any of it, I really wouldn't mind living a dog's life every now and then.

'What's this responsibility thing?'





In the past year I've had a lot of changes, I've went from a couple of dead-end jobs to one that has potential for a career, I've made new friends and sadly realized I had outgrown others, I'm independent and actually own a car (that isn't a 1980 Chevy Malibu Wagon), I've come to an understanding of what my faith is and how I see other people, I went to my first concert and found new music to refresh my spirit, I have joined a sports team and can feel improvements every time I play, I learned how to drive a standard, I have done many things that a couple of years ago I didn't think was possible for me... yet, it still feels ... small.
I've taken a look at some old diaries I kept from as far back as 1989, it's weird looking back at the words your former self has written... it's funny, sad, irritating and can be awfully depressing. Taking a look at the hopes and goals from a ghost of a memory, as I read the lines of faded pages from a cheap plastic covered notepad - all I can feel is guilt, for letting down the person who wrote up their ideas and dreams. It seems a bit harsh, though it's the truth, I'm turning 29 on April 28th... then another year till 30, and all I can look at is what my younger selves envisioned for the future - and this surely isn't it.
It is a dangerous place to be in, though fortunately my experience the past year had given my the strength to deal with it. I have learned acceptance, the past can't be changed though I can still learn from it, hopefully in the next year I can live up to the expectations my childhood composed. I just have to keep trying and with unflinching gaze see what must be done to fulfill the promises I made to myself, I know of others who were crushed by the wieght of expections from prior dreams and truly I can understand how hard it is to have enough faith in the future to keep trying. I guess that's why we are here though, to keep trying with faith in who we are and what we could be.

The picture has absolutely nothing to do with the post... look at the pretty kitty.


So where to begin...

It's been odd the last few months, and honesly I wonder how much of this is relevant for this blog. When I orginally started this little tiny piece of realestate on the web, the plan was to give opinionated views on current events and analysis of topics around the world (a bit lofty I admit). As time wore on and actual time spent reading news was purely ... nonexistant, the blog just became a general impressions of what I thought and what my current take on what I see in this life. The tone of the blog itself became more introspective, I would (will) ask questions without real answers and provide answers that really made no sense.

So taking that into account, it's probably to change my perception of how I use this site and what I put on it. It will probably be just a place to write randomly and vent, it has actually been a long time since I truly expressed anything in word, art, paperclip art ect. While I haven't really attempted to make any sense in my previous blogs, there will be a higher instance of randomness and lesser amount of coherent thought in the future blogs. Probably I'm just tired of trying to make myself understood, and really just want to write randomly in the open forum of the internet and maybe catch the interest of an organization with money they need to through at someone... hey the lottery makes about as much sense.
So in closing... SPOON!

It's been another long spell between posts... I could accept the approriate blame but instead I'll shift the indignant outrage to the proper source - Facebook! The off again, on again interest in this juggernaut of 'social connectivity' has finnally run its course with my desire for sanity, to the point I have indeed quit the site altogether (though I admit for the second time - this time for sure I swear!).
Not that I think (as some have suggested) that Facebook is a sign of the anti-christ and that the makers are beings of pure evil with hatred in their hearts and a desire for consuming puppies and kittens ... for god sakes they aren't jugglers.... ahem, getting back to 'le pointe'.
Facebook is basically a site where you register to index yourself with everyone else and then search for the random people you've encountered in your lifetime. Upon finding such peoples one proceeds to call them 'friends' and then inundates them with mass mailouts of quizes, triva, pointless games, vampire/zombie/werewolf invitations (...yeah) etc, etc. The breaking point for me was an old coworker contacting me on facebook to join a pyramid scheme, at that point my disillusion with the Facebook phenom was complete.
Truthfully the 'friends' on Facebook who I did not keep in contact with through other means I really didn't have much to say to and most likely it was vice versa... and then trying to keep up with the social drama between groups is something else entirely.
Of course if one can manage their way through the rigors of online social networking more power to them, though still for all, I'd much rather have friends that allowed me to spend more time away from the computer screen than a prerequisite.

Of the sweet call of insanity, and the safety of ordinary

There are a few things I should mention off the bat, firstly I'm not exactly sure how the term 'off the bat' came to be or how it really makes any real sense but I'm using it so there... secondly, I don't think I can really claim any true moments of insanity, so any argument regarding that point is highly hypothetical, I'll have to confer with a true bat-shit looney - fortunately it's Calgary, I can find one sleeping in the park a few blocks away - or one of the mayoral candidates. Err probably not, even I can handle only so much insanity, anyway getting to the realm of some sort of theme/plot/point/toaster.

I've honestly thought that it would be quite comfortable to be stark raving mad, especially in this pc society we live in. Though what is insanity? The dictionary definition is well, not exactly sure, but one randomly googled quote says 'Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same result'.

So in that regard, who is really insane?
/// yes that is it, an open fucking question, unfortunately have not the wherewithal to completely finish an essay type blog on insanity so please feel free to rough out that last question for yourself... I already know my answer, which lead to a closing quote also from a random google:

"It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have ones doubts"

Let's just say I'm feeling very comfortable.

"Of Giving, dogs and acceptance"


Well, unfortunately missed the month of August to complete a post so kinda bummed out about that, ah well will try for a return to weekly blog entries this month.
It's been an interesting month for myself and everyone around me, not sure if it's a planetary alignment thing or it's just because it's the last month of summer... well more like something akin to summer but not quite if you live in Canada (except for Victoria).

Recent events have led me to question the concept of giving and selfishness, hmm, not exactly true... always considered those things just this past month kind forced me to form a hard opinion on the matter.
I've always been a giving kind of fellow, maybe not overly friendly but would try to do nice things for those around me. Over the years I've discovered a few things; people (especially in western culture) aren't used to giving very much of oneself - money and material goods yes... of themselves - not so much. Another is that I've steadily grown a deep and distinct hatred toward people, maybe hatred is too strong a word... distrust would be far more accurate. Giving of oneself with out expectation of return is one of the hardest things to do, because as soon as you being to expect things of others its amazing how fast one can get disappointed and end up feeling used and betrayed.
Of course I'm being extremely vague and generalizing quite a bit, but I'm sure everyone at some point or another has gone through similar experience to varying degrees. I think it comes down to having faith in other people... or trust, which is amazingly nearly synonymous with faith (at least for the purpose of this topic... err, what topic?).
Hmm, running short on time and I'd hate to relegate this post to the black hole that is the blogspot Drafts section (many a promising post be lost there). So this incomplete piece will be posted (obviously since it's being read it's been posted... or has it?) and hopefully will get around to updating it when the chance arises.
Err, though just for reference, the dog refers to the family mutt that I have to take care of for a while (serious inconvenience) and the acceptance refers to taking ownership of who one is and how you're treated by others - ie accepting that people are by far and large selfish, but that shouldn't make one change who they are to stop feeling hurt, be aware of who others are and accept them for it, while learning to .... I have no idea where this is going now, meh, it'll all make sense in the edited version... it will... really.